I am one of those women who always wanted to be a mom and now I am in the second stage of my life and live for my grandchildren. I want to be with them as much as possible without "suffocating" them. I hope that my own lessons I was taught in my early years will reflect now onto my own daughters. I hope that someday when it will be their turns to be a Grandma to their own children's children that they will remember all the little things that were passed down to them. I cherish all my memories and hold them dear.
Will they want to spend as much time with their children in their adult life? Will they want to participate in their every day lives or will they end up living far away from them and only stay connected by phone calls and letters. I hope they will be lucky enough to be involved in each and every one of their lives. It means the world to me to be included and be remembered. I hope I didn't take my grandmas for granted in all my life. I tried to get to know them while they were alive and well. I tried to listen to them as they reflected their own beliefs and walked down their memory lanes. I tried to be patient and let them "have their time" with me by their side.
Everyone has a full plate these days in their everyday lives it seems. I wish I could SLOW down the train we are all jumping on and frantically hurrying to our jobs, games, reunions, club meetings, scheduled appointments, vacations, and church time. We need to remember our grandmas and grandpas and give them time. I hope my children remember me when I am older and share with me their everyday lives. It is important to me now and I know as I become older I will value their visits to me and with me even more. I hope they will be good Grandmas and feel confident that they will.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Blending "Grandmas" in one household....
I live with my mother-in-law. My husband and I moved in with her about 3 1/2 years ago to help her with her lawn care and her pool and just anything that needs done. She is 81...I am 51. She and I have gotten along well throughout this turn of events of living conditions. Now we are also living with my own daughter and her 2 young sons ages 13 and 9 years old. They have just moved in for the time being while my son-in-law is stationed in Kuwait for the next 8 months or so. My daughter has been living in Oklahoma until now and felt the urgent need to "come home" and be surrounded by all her loved ones for the endurance of her time as a "single" mom while he is away.
Things may be getting alittle more lively and hectic than needed but we are all trying to get along as best as we can. This makes 4 generations in one home. Not many can stand up to those odds.
I hope we make people realize it indeed can be done and done well. My mother-in-law's health is in need of someone to be with her 7 days a week, 24 hrs per day. She developed pneomonia about a month ago and went into the hospital for 2 weeks. She was discharged and is now at home and in our care. She has 4 other adult children who call and come by on daily visits but my husband and I and now, my daughter, are her main caregivers.
With all the tenderness and care she has given to her family in her 58 years of mothering and grandmothering and then also great-grandmothering...I think she deserves the utmost respect and quiet times to recoop. This makes it difficult now that the boys are there underfoot. But with a little guidance and a routine established I think our household will come to terms and things will settle down.
This house is large and set up into 4 levels. There is room to roam about and still have your own privacy. The main thing is to remember our mom/grandma is the lady of the house and is still in charge of it's decisions. She deserves the best care and the best attention we can all give to her.
Being a grandma to my boys comes first.. but they also have to understand that her home is now opened up to them for the time being to live and they will abide by her rules and her standards.
Life is changing daily in our world around us. But the life I have been shown by this mother-in-law has been one of openness and sharing and unselfish ways that not alot of women have shown to me. I feel very honored and humbled to be able to live with her.
I hope that the "grandma" status will continue and she will live long years yet with us all. It is our first and foremost reason to be there and experience our daily lives with her now.
Things may be getting alittle more lively and hectic than needed but we are all trying to get along as best as we can. This makes 4 generations in one home. Not many can stand up to those odds.
I hope we make people realize it indeed can be done and done well. My mother-in-law's health is in need of someone to be with her 7 days a week, 24 hrs per day. She developed pneomonia about a month ago and went into the hospital for 2 weeks. She was discharged and is now at home and in our care. She has 4 other adult children who call and come by on daily visits but my husband and I and now, my daughter, are her main caregivers.
With all the tenderness and care she has given to her family in her 58 years of mothering and grandmothering and then also great-grandmothering...I think she deserves the utmost respect and quiet times to recoop. This makes it difficult now that the boys are there underfoot. But with a little guidance and a routine established I think our household will come to terms and things will settle down.
This house is large and set up into 4 levels. There is room to roam about and still have your own privacy. The main thing is to remember our mom/grandma is the lady of the house and is still in charge of it's decisions. She deserves the best care and the best attention we can all give to her.
Being a grandma to my boys comes first.. but they also have to understand that her home is now opened up to them for the time being to live and they will abide by her rules and her standards.
Life is changing daily in our world around us. But the life I have been shown by this mother-in-law has been one of openness and sharing and unselfish ways that not alot of women have shown to me. I feel very honored and humbled to be able to live with her.
I hope that the "grandma" status will continue and she will live long years yet with us all. It is our first and foremost reason to be there and experience our daily lives with her now.
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