I am one of those women who always wanted to be a mom and now I am in the second stage of my life and live for my grandchildren. I want to be with them as much as possible without "suffocating" them. I hope that my own lessons I was taught in my early years will reflect now onto my own daughters. I hope that someday when it will be their turns to be a Grandma to their own children's children that they will remember all the little things that were passed down to them. I cherish all my memories and hold them dear.
Will they want to spend as much time with their children in their adult life? Will they want to participate in their every day lives or will they end up living far away from them and only stay connected by phone calls and letters. I hope they will be lucky enough to be involved in each and every one of their lives. It means the world to me to be included and be remembered. I hope I didn't take my grandmas for granted in all my life. I tried to get to know them while they were alive and well. I tried to listen to them as they reflected their own beliefs and walked down their memory lanes. I tried to be patient and let them "have their time" with me by their side.
Everyone has a full plate these days in their everyday lives it seems. I wish I could SLOW down the train we are all jumping on and frantically hurrying to our jobs, games, reunions, club meetings, scheduled appointments, vacations, and church time. We need to remember our grandmas and grandpas and give them time. I hope my children remember me when I am older and share with me their everyday lives. It is important to me now and I know as I become older I will value their visits to me and with me even more. I hope they will be good Grandmas and feel confident that they will.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Blending "Grandmas" in one household....
I live with my mother-in-law. My husband and I moved in with her about 3 1/2 years ago to help her with her lawn care and her pool and just anything that needs done. She is 81...I am 51. She and I have gotten along well throughout this turn of events of living conditions. Now we are also living with my own daughter and her 2 young sons ages 13 and 9 years old. They have just moved in for the time being while my son-in-law is stationed in Kuwait for the next 8 months or so. My daughter has been living in Oklahoma until now and felt the urgent need to "come home" and be surrounded by all her loved ones for the endurance of her time as a "single" mom while he is away.
Things may be getting alittle more lively and hectic than needed but we are all trying to get along as best as we can. This makes 4 generations in one home. Not many can stand up to those odds.
I hope we make people realize it indeed can be done and done well. My mother-in-law's health is in need of someone to be with her 7 days a week, 24 hrs per day. She developed pneomonia about a month ago and went into the hospital for 2 weeks. She was discharged and is now at home and in our care. She has 4 other adult children who call and come by on daily visits but my husband and I and now, my daughter, are her main caregivers.
With all the tenderness and care she has given to her family in her 58 years of mothering and grandmothering and then also great-grandmothering...I think she deserves the utmost respect and quiet times to recoop. This makes it difficult now that the boys are there underfoot. But with a little guidance and a routine established I think our household will come to terms and things will settle down.
This house is large and set up into 4 levels. There is room to roam about and still have your own privacy. The main thing is to remember our mom/grandma is the lady of the house and is still in charge of it's decisions. She deserves the best care and the best attention we can all give to her.
Being a grandma to my boys comes first.. but they also have to understand that her home is now opened up to them for the time being to live and they will abide by her rules and her standards.
Life is changing daily in our world around us. But the life I have been shown by this mother-in-law has been one of openness and sharing and unselfish ways that not alot of women have shown to me. I feel very honored and humbled to be able to live with her.
I hope that the "grandma" status will continue and she will live long years yet with us all. It is our first and foremost reason to be there and experience our daily lives with her now.
Things may be getting alittle more lively and hectic than needed but we are all trying to get along as best as we can. This makes 4 generations in one home. Not many can stand up to those odds.
I hope we make people realize it indeed can be done and done well. My mother-in-law's health is in need of someone to be with her 7 days a week, 24 hrs per day. She developed pneomonia about a month ago and went into the hospital for 2 weeks. She was discharged and is now at home and in our care. She has 4 other adult children who call and come by on daily visits but my husband and I and now, my daughter, are her main caregivers.
With all the tenderness and care she has given to her family in her 58 years of mothering and grandmothering and then also great-grandmothering...I think she deserves the utmost respect and quiet times to recoop. This makes it difficult now that the boys are there underfoot. But with a little guidance and a routine established I think our household will come to terms and things will settle down.
This house is large and set up into 4 levels. There is room to roam about and still have your own privacy. The main thing is to remember our mom/grandma is the lady of the house and is still in charge of it's decisions. She deserves the best care and the best attention we can all give to her.
Being a grandma to my boys comes first.. but they also have to understand that her home is now opened up to them for the time being to live and they will abide by her rules and her standards.
Life is changing daily in our world around us. But the life I have been shown by this mother-in-law has been one of openness and sharing and unselfish ways that not alot of women have shown to me. I feel very honored and humbled to be able to live with her.
I hope that the "grandma" status will continue and she will live long years yet with us all. It is our first and foremost reason to be there and experience our daily lives with her now.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
My husband's Grandma was a gem...
My husband had a very endearing grandmother when he was growing up. I didn't get to meet her til she was older in life. I only had the privilege of knowing her for a year and a half after I married into the family. She died from cancer at a young age of 68. But the year I did have her in my life...she was a sounding board to me. She loved the little babies and got to be a great-grandma to my husband's nephew and my own first born daughter. She would spend all her free time doting on them when she could.
My most vivid memory was a little comical of her. When we were first married we moved away from our little hometown and she stayed w/ me for not even a week one time in the middle of one of the worst winters we ever had. By the middle of the week this woman called her son -in- law...my husband's dad, to drive out and pick her up and bring her back home! She wasn't used to not having much to do and we were living on the riverbanks of the Muskingum river with no neighbors and no shopping days to do and just was not alot of fun. I was devistated to have her leave my side. I wanted to spend a week w/ her getting to know her on my own. Yet she really was unhappy to stay.She just up and left me behind..I laugh at it now..but back when I was only 20 years old...I was a bit put out.
She was married while still a young teen herself and devoted her life to her family of 3 daughters then in turn they had children and gave her 7 grandchildren. I came along and helped to give her her first great granddaughter. I wish she could have had longer on this earth to know all my girls. They would have loved this woman. She was a worker from the word start. She took care of my husband's two youngest sisters while his mom went back to college and got her teaching degree when she was in her early 40's. If not for this help of a unselfish grandma I don't think my mother- in- law could have accomplished her tasks at hand so fast and with little effort. I am not saying she didn't do it all ...she did. But to have the help and the nurturing from their grandma was a godsend to all. She made life easier for this family of 5 kids and in turn they learned life's lessons from her daily. She gave a smile to all neighbors and friends. She was a faithful church goer and active in the ladies circles til her death. She worked at the community's grocery store when she was widowed at an early age. She never did get a driver's license but was taken everywhere she needed to go by my husband's family. They included her in their family functions as if she was a part of their little circle. Living alone and above them in her own trailer gave her her own independence. Although she loved to be with them all on a daily basis.
She was loved deeply and I still hear a phrase quoted by her from his family on several occasions. She is missed very much. She will always be the "young" grandma to us all as she died so young and had the energy to keep up with all the family members. To know her was to love her indeed.
My most vivid memory was a little comical of her. When we were first married we moved away from our little hometown and she stayed w/ me for not even a week one time in the middle of one of the worst winters we ever had. By the middle of the week this woman called her son -in- law...my husband's dad, to drive out and pick her up and bring her back home! She wasn't used to not having much to do and we were living on the riverbanks of the Muskingum river with no neighbors and no shopping days to do and just was not alot of fun. I was devistated to have her leave my side. I wanted to spend a week w/ her getting to know her on my own. Yet she really was unhappy to stay.She just up and left me behind..I laugh at it now..but back when I was only 20 years old...I was a bit put out.
She was married while still a young teen herself and devoted her life to her family of 3 daughters then in turn they had children and gave her 7 grandchildren. I came along and helped to give her her first great granddaughter. I wish she could have had longer on this earth to know all my girls. They would have loved this woman. She was a worker from the word start. She took care of my husband's two youngest sisters while his mom went back to college and got her teaching degree when she was in her early 40's. If not for this help of a unselfish grandma I don't think my mother- in- law could have accomplished her tasks at hand so fast and with little effort. I am not saying she didn't do it all ...she did. But to have the help and the nurturing from their grandma was a godsend to all. She made life easier for this family of 5 kids and in turn they learned life's lessons from her daily. She gave a smile to all neighbors and friends. She was a faithful church goer and active in the ladies circles til her death. She worked at the community's grocery store when she was widowed at an early age. She never did get a driver's license but was taken everywhere she needed to go by my husband's family. They included her in their family functions as if she was a part of their little circle. Living alone and above them in her own trailer gave her her own independence. Although she loved to be with them all on a daily basis.
She was loved deeply and I still hear a phrase quoted by her from his family on several occasions. She is missed very much. She will always be the "young" grandma to us all as she died so young and had the energy to keep up with all the family members. To know her was to love her indeed.
Friday, November 21, 2008
My dad's mom is my other Grandma...
My dad grew up in a hard life of a poor farm boy who lived w/his dad and mom in the country. He had a little brother 6 years younger than he was. When my dad was only 11 his father left him and my Grandma and uncle for his "own life". It was to be a hard life for my Grandma from there on. She was given little notice to become a dad and mom both to her sons. Back in the 30's things weren't good for the economy anyhow..so one can imagine this lady's predicament. She took in laundry and did chores for others.She peddled eggs and sheered sheep and sold wool. She was the organist at the country church 900 yards down her road for 60 years plus. She never gave up ...this woman perseveered throughout her life.
My dad married his high school sweetheart and lived at the same home w/ his mom for yet another year. Grandma was "courted" by a widower and they got married a year after my parents. Grandma moved 5 miles away to his farm and dug deep into a new life. Another hard life of struggling to pay the bills and feed many. This new Grandpa had 7 children. All were adults by then but they had a farm to work and Grandma was the new woman on the homefront.
She became a grandma at an early age and was a step mom to many also. I don't know the true count but my parents gave her 6 grandkids and my uncle gave her 3. Her new step grandkids were so numerous I don't know the amount. She loved all as her own. She sacrificed many hours on the farm. Peddled eggs into the nearby town for 30 more years. Still played the organ weekly and had family reunions for the rest of her life. I got to stay overnight at the farm and joined my step cousins in play occasionally. At 52 my Grandma became a "surrogate" mom to her new step granddaughters who were only 4 and 2 years old. She did a superb job of giving her time to them on into their adult lives. She balanced out her 2 families and mixed them together. She taught us all a lesson in the big picture. You must make the best of what the Lord has given you. No one can change it for you. Strong willed folks come out ahead. To be weak and tender, just makes one feel last place.
I learned to cook some dishes mostly by watching and listening to Grandma's ways. She never asked a soul to assist her in her kitchen. She was so unselfish I could some days just scream at her to not try soooo hard!
When my Grandma was in her early 80's she passed away from cancer. Her 2nd husband lived to be 96. She was always afraid she wouldn't have him to lean on and the table was turned. She sacrificed her entire life to 2 men and a herd of children,grandchildren, step children and step grandchildren.
My favorite memory of being with Grandma was when in her better health, I treated her to lunch one day about 5 miles away from her home. She had never been" out to lunch as we called it and that was a miracle to me to even sweep her away in my van for a few stolen hours.
If I were to sum up her life in a few words...I'd have to say"she sacrificed for others daily".
To this day, I miss this woman fiercely. She instilled many a brave viewpoint in my bones. She gave me the best guidelines for me to build my strength on becoming a good wife and mom to my girls. Later I think this has left a mark on me to become an unselfish grandma myself. To give to others what they need more than yourself is far better than to be greedy with one's own free time.
Thank you Grandma, thank you for everything you ever gave to me. I remember it all!
My dad married his high school sweetheart and lived at the same home w/ his mom for yet another year. Grandma was "courted" by a widower and they got married a year after my parents. Grandma moved 5 miles away to his farm and dug deep into a new life. Another hard life of struggling to pay the bills and feed many. This new Grandpa had 7 children. All were adults by then but they had a farm to work and Grandma was the new woman on the homefront.
She became a grandma at an early age and was a step mom to many also. I don't know the true count but my parents gave her 6 grandkids and my uncle gave her 3. Her new step grandkids were so numerous I don't know the amount. She loved all as her own. She sacrificed many hours on the farm. Peddled eggs into the nearby town for 30 more years. Still played the organ weekly and had family reunions for the rest of her life. I got to stay overnight at the farm and joined my step cousins in play occasionally. At 52 my Grandma became a "surrogate" mom to her new step granddaughters who were only 4 and 2 years old. She did a superb job of giving her time to them on into their adult lives. She balanced out her 2 families and mixed them together. She taught us all a lesson in the big picture. You must make the best of what the Lord has given you. No one can change it for you. Strong willed folks come out ahead. To be weak and tender, just makes one feel last place.
I learned to cook some dishes mostly by watching and listening to Grandma's ways. She never asked a soul to assist her in her kitchen. She was so unselfish I could some days just scream at her to not try soooo hard!
When my Grandma was in her early 80's she passed away from cancer. Her 2nd husband lived to be 96. She was always afraid she wouldn't have him to lean on and the table was turned. She sacrificed her entire life to 2 men and a herd of children,grandchildren, step children and step grandchildren.
My favorite memory of being with Grandma was when in her better health, I treated her to lunch one day about 5 miles away from her home. She had never been" out to lunch as we called it and that was a miracle to me to even sweep her away in my van for a few stolen hours.
If I were to sum up her life in a few words...I'd have to say"she sacrificed for others daily".
To this day, I miss this woman fiercely. She instilled many a brave viewpoint in my bones. She gave me the best guidelines for me to build my strength on becoming a good wife and mom to my girls. Later I think this has left a mark on me to become an unselfish grandma myself. To give to others what they need more than yourself is far better than to be greedy with one's own free time.
Thank you Grandma, thank you for everything you ever gave to me. I remember it all!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
My Grandma when I was little...
I think I spent my first night away from home w/ my Grandma. She was my mom's mother and was a mere 10 years older than I am right now. I think she was in her early 60's but I say" back then"...she looked and acted like she was way older. I think she also remained like that memory for the rest of my childhood. Grandmas back in the 1950's and 1960's just didn't dress like they do these days. I had her to spoil me back then. I was the youngest of 6 kids and loved the attention she would lavish on me. She let me bake w/ her in her kitchen and I think most of my memories are of her and I in that kitchen. We did alot of meal preparation. To her fixing a meal -3 times a day for her husband was her duty. Her utmost responsibility was to put a good homecooked..hot meal on that table. I can shut my eyes to this day and describe that kitchen and it's aroma of smells can still wake me up in the middle of night. She was a good cook. She was patient and tolerant of my little hands in that kitchen. She wanted to teach me her way and have me learn for my future. I stayed quite a few nights over the next 10 years w/ her and felt so blessed to be able to have her to myself. She was the one who taught me to clean the windows w/ vinegar and water and dry them w/ newspapers. She had no problem having me climb the ladders to clean all the windows inside either. She never learned to drive a car so I remember having her home all the time at my beck and call. I invited myself over to spend a night on alot of weekends. My folks probably thought why not? I was the last of the gang and I needed some attention of my own!
My Grandma was short and didn't wear alot of make-up and wore her hair plain. She was in a house dress and those "grandma black shoes" that alot of older women wore back then. I don't think I will EVER dress that part or want to be that old when I am now that age myself. I think I learned alot from this quaint little lady and I valued her oppinion from my first memory. She would let me play house w/ all her old toys she had saved and let me color my own books for hours. She made me my favorite dishes for supper each weekend and just gave me so many childhood memories that I still savor.
They even had a trapeze dangling from the basement ceiling and I never would go in that basement without swinging on it a day. My grandma had it put there to exercise her broken arm and after it mended my Grandpa left it for the grandkids to play on.
I hope I leave a remarkable life of memories w/ my own grandkids I am now helping to raise up and be with as many days as I possibly can. After all...isn't their heritage what they will need for the rest of their lives?
My Grandma was short and didn't wear alot of make-up and wore her hair plain. She was in a house dress and those "grandma black shoes" that alot of older women wore back then. I don't think I will EVER dress that part or want to be that old when I am now that age myself. I think I learned alot from this quaint little lady and I valued her oppinion from my first memory. She would let me play house w/ all her old toys she had saved and let me color my own books for hours. She made me my favorite dishes for supper each weekend and just gave me so many childhood memories that I still savor.
They even had a trapeze dangling from the basement ceiling and I never would go in that basement without swinging on it a day. My grandma had it put there to exercise her broken arm and after it mended my Grandpa left it for the grandkids to play on.
I hope I leave a remarkable life of memories w/ my own grandkids I am now helping to raise up and be with as many days as I possibly can. After all...isn't their heritage what they will need for the rest of their lives?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
My own mother as a Grandma to all...
I learned a lot of being a grandma to my own grandkids from my mom. When mom was 19 she married and had her family started at age 20, When I was born 7 1/2 yrs later...she was 27 and finished having her family of 6 kids. I still am in complete and udder admiration of this woman's ability to raise a family of 6 (4 sons and 2 daughters) so calmly as my mom did.
Mom became a grandma at the early age of 42. Her first grandchild was a boy and I produced the first granddaughter when she was 46. She nurtured my 4 girls along with my siblings' kids too. We all had our kids one right after the other for nearly 36 years! We kept "grandma" so very busy with the weekend question..."Mom-could you babysit for me this weekend?".
I had my own girls at a very young age myself. At some very significant times she would she would remind me that she hardly ever went out on weekends and left us behind with sitters. Regardless, Mom would do her part in babysitting all 14 grandchildren. Later on in her life she was blessed with 3 more step-grandchildren,whom she accepted lovingly. But as the last of the grandchildren are now in their pre-teens.....I see a relaxed version of a woman who only wants to be a part of their lives through visits.
I think it is important to give her the utmost respect for taking care of a large family all those years while my dad worked 2 jobs. She was never alone and had at least 4 teens in the house for 10 years it seemed. Her life was very full and she supported each and every child and then each grandchild's endeavors in school projects and sporting events as much as her time allowed.
My mom became a widow 13 years ago and is living alone in a large 12 room home. She traveled frequently after my dad passed away getting to see much of the country at her own "pace" and just filling an empty void she had from missing my dad.
I admire mom for giving me the freedom to be my own kind of mom to my children. She was a good mentor to me in my young mothering years. She was the quiet nurturer and taught me my lullaby songs to sing to my girls and how to rock them when they were tearful. She taught me to have fair judgement in the daily comprimises a family encounters. She was my backbone in wanting to have a family early in my life. I thought to myself, "if she can do it..I can do it also! It can't be that hard!" Well, I found out....she was the one who made it all look so very simple. She portrayed motherhood with the gentlest of personalities. She never complained a wink of being confined and she never let on that she was asked to do too many tasks for too many people.
Mom is powerful in the" calming" of all of our nerves by the mere "tickling" of our arms or backs with her long, elegant fingernails, as we still sit beside her during family gatherings.
Mom is famous for good meals over the years to all of my siblings, at our gatherings and most favored for making those hot chocolate chip cookies. I think she made them on a weekly basis for 15 years in a row!!
She lives a simple, quiet lifestyle, content to watch her television re-runs day in and day out. Sewing a little now and then, and reading a good fiction novel almost one per day. She stays active in her church circle and has played a good bridge hand for 60 years with some of the same ladies.
Mom loves to have a family member drop in when they seek a visit with her and need a good listener to their stories. She just simply sits and smiles at them, watching their emotions come forward and share with her. We see that reminiscent look of "Oh...how well I remember it all."
This woman to me is a gentle legend in my mind. To have mothered and grandmothered so many over the years and still keep her eloquent style of living as she does is indeed a tribute to her ever quiet demeanor and self worth. I feel privileged to be a daughter to such a lady. I find myself compelled to embellish that my siblings and our families' closeknit bonds have survived due to her steadfast strength in instilling what we have needed for all of our lives. And she has done that with her quiet, gentle unselfish personality. To know my mom is to love a quiet,stoic matriarch.
Mom became a grandma at the early age of 42. Her first grandchild was a boy and I produced the first granddaughter when she was 46. She nurtured my 4 girls along with my siblings' kids too. We all had our kids one right after the other for nearly 36 years! We kept "grandma" so very busy with the weekend question..."Mom-could you babysit for me this weekend?".
I had my own girls at a very young age myself. At some very significant times she would she would remind me that she hardly ever went out on weekends and left us behind with sitters. Regardless, Mom would do her part in babysitting all 14 grandchildren. Later on in her life she was blessed with 3 more step-grandchildren,whom she accepted lovingly. But as the last of the grandchildren are now in their pre-teens.....I see a relaxed version of a woman who only wants to be a part of their lives through visits.
I think it is important to give her the utmost respect for taking care of a large family all those years while my dad worked 2 jobs. She was never alone and had at least 4 teens in the house for 10 years it seemed. Her life was very full and she supported each and every child and then each grandchild's endeavors in school projects and sporting events as much as her time allowed.
My mom became a widow 13 years ago and is living alone in a large 12 room home. She traveled frequently after my dad passed away getting to see much of the country at her own "pace" and just filling an empty void she had from missing my dad.
I admire mom for giving me the freedom to be my own kind of mom to my children. She was a good mentor to me in my young mothering years. She was the quiet nurturer and taught me my lullaby songs to sing to my girls and how to rock them when they were tearful. She taught me to have fair judgement in the daily comprimises a family encounters. She was my backbone in wanting to have a family early in my life. I thought to myself, "if she can do it..I can do it also! It can't be that hard!" Well, I found out....she was the one who made it all look so very simple. She portrayed motherhood with the gentlest of personalities. She never complained a wink of being confined and she never let on that she was asked to do too many tasks for too many people.
Mom is powerful in the" calming" of all of our nerves by the mere "tickling" of our arms or backs with her long, elegant fingernails, as we still sit beside her during family gatherings.
Mom is famous for good meals over the years to all of my siblings, at our gatherings and most favored for making those hot chocolate chip cookies. I think she made them on a weekly basis for 15 years in a row!!
She lives a simple, quiet lifestyle, content to watch her television re-runs day in and day out. Sewing a little now and then, and reading a good fiction novel almost one per day. She stays active in her church circle and has played a good bridge hand for 60 years with some of the same ladies.
Mom loves to have a family member drop in when they seek a visit with her and need a good listener to their stories. She just simply sits and smiles at them, watching their emotions come forward and share with her. We see that reminiscent look of "Oh...how well I remember it all."
This woman to me is a gentle legend in my mind. To have mothered and grandmothered so many over the years and still keep her eloquent style of living as she does is indeed a tribute to her ever quiet demeanor and self worth. I feel privileged to be a daughter to such a lady. I find myself compelled to embellish that my siblings and our families' closeknit bonds have survived due to her steadfast strength in instilling what we have needed for all of our lives. And she has done that with her quiet, gentle unselfish personality. To know my mom is to love a quiet,stoic matriarch.
Monday, November 10, 2008
I am in awe of my childrens' Grandmother...
I live with my mother-in-law and to be 51 and move into a home of a woman, who for almost 20 years as a widow, had her home to "herself", I am first of all ,amazed that it has worked out.Second of all, to allow another woman to move in with her and be the second woman of the house is hard enough, let alone share all of what is hers..is now ours, vice versa. She knew from the start we could work out a new lifestyle of helping one another. Her role to my husband and I is that of a "nurturer".....so we have these homecooked meals 4-5 days a week and always at the precise time. Yet she will be patient and wait for he and I to come home and have our meals together as this "new family" we have now formed.We, in turn, are taking the helm over of the "labor" around the home. Vacuuming the house, and the pool, gardening, mowing, weedwacking, painting when needed, pool care, ladder climbing, flooding clean up... heavy duty chores..now belong to my husband and myself. We have balanced our lives together now and are making it work.
She is the grandmother of my daughters and a role model for them. I look up to her for her attitude in life. She said to me when I was just dating her son, (way back when!)...."YOU do what YOU want to do"...
I have never forgotten those words. To me...she was letting my own personality come forth and grow. She would be there for me to lean on when I needed help w/her granddaughters. But mostly, she was a genuine soul. She would never "dictate" to me what she wanted done. No, I was to find out that on my own...through my own mistakes. She was a good listener. She showed me to laugh at life and not to take it all so serious.
She opened her life up to me and let me be a member in her large family. She and I have the likeness of having raised 4 daughters so I do put that into perspective. I tried to remember how she was when I came into her life and she was still a mom at home w/ the last 2 daughters. Openminded is what I think comes to mind first. She was always a very open person. Warm and accepting of her daughters' many friends. Their time in high school was very energetic and full of schedules that most people would shutter away from, yet this woman "thrived" to be needed and included in all the details of being the athletes that they were ... their mom( who by this time is in her late 50's to early 60's).....is now their chauffer and food provider for them and for many, many teams. She and her husband opened their home to tons of teens for meals and actually provided many a parent w/ a home cooked spaghetti dinner year after year til her youngest daughter went onto college; therefore breaking the tradition of having her home filled..she sought the college basketball team to need her at their level..at their away and home games in colleges all over the tri-state area.
We became close to one another and developed a mutual trust. I respect her opinion at all times and have tried to model my outlook to that of hers. I think she did a superb job raising her family of 4 daughters and her only son, whom became my husband. I have my own mother to look up to all of my life and she was my sounding board for the first part of my life. But the role of my mother-in- law and grandmother to my daughters has been filled profoundly by this woman who I now live with. She is 80 and every day I think" when I get to be that age...I hope I can keep up w/her schedule and keep my attitude as positive as hers has always been".
My daughters grew up knowing they could always count on this grandma of theirs to allow them to spend the night, have a party, be it the huge annual New Year's Eve party that each of them were permitted to have on their own out at Grandma Shirley's house...til the last one had her turn. We pulled together and no mishaps were ever experienced at this home. She has a full community sized swimming pool in her back yard, so there were many years of teens swimming all day and on into the night. Again, her home was an open door to anyone she knew. Trusting those teens to not overstep their privileges, Shirley became attached to more and more children and teens on into their adult lives. She was a school teacher for 37 years and there isn't a time when we are out and about that I don't hear her comment.."Why, I had him in school! or I had her mom in school"....
Since moving in with her 3 and 1/2 years ago, she now has another role she upholds; as a great-grandmother to my 2 grandsons. They have moved 18 hrs. away from our home and each summer their mother allows them to come home and stay for 6-8 weeks straight at our house. I couldn't pull this off without the help of Shirley as their great- grandma who stays home w/ them throughout the day while my husband and I both work day shifts. She has again sacrificed her own late- in- life "free" time to devote her energy and her days to making the most for these 2 boys she has called her own. I think if she were to have had 4 more of her own sons...her life would have been even more complete! She lives to "feed" anyone and to have 2 scrappling, growing boys "need" her to give them food and nourishment daily, just completed her lifestyle the entire time they are with us. Her stamina should be slowing down if you think about most lives of 80 year old women. Not this woman....she has plenty of "missions" to accomplish!
To know this grandmother of 33 years plus now ...is to genuinely LOVE her to pieces! I hope to become the grandmother to my own grandchildren now as she was all these years to my children.
She is the grandmother of my daughters and a role model for them. I look up to her for her attitude in life. She said to me when I was just dating her son, (way back when!)...."YOU do what YOU want to do"...
I have never forgotten those words. To me...she was letting my own personality come forth and grow. She would be there for me to lean on when I needed help w/her granddaughters. But mostly, she was a genuine soul. She would never "dictate" to me what she wanted done. No, I was to find out that on my own...through my own mistakes. She was a good listener. She showed me to laugh at life and not to take it all so serious.
She opened her life up to me and let me be a member in her large family. She and I have the likeness of having raised 4 daughters so I do put that into perspective. I tried to remember how she was when I came into her life and she was still a mom at home w/ the last 2 daughters. Openminded is what I think comes to mind first. She was always a very open person. Warm and accepting of her daughters' many friends. Their time in high school was very energetic and full of schedules that most people would shutter away from, yet this woman "thrived" to be needed and included in all the details of being the athletes that they were ... their mom( who by this time is in her late 50's to early 60's).....is now their chauffer and food provider for them and for many, many teams. She and her husband opened their home to tons of teens for meals and actually provided many a parent w/ a home cooked spaghetti dinner year after year til her youngest daughter went onto college; therefore breaking the tradition of having her home filled..she sought the college basketball team to need her at their level..at their away and home games in colleges all over the tri-state area.
We became close to one another and developed a mutual trust. I respect her opinion at all times and have tried to model my outlook to that of hers. I think she did a superb job raising her family of 4 daughters and her only son, whom became my husband. I have my own mother to look up to all of my life and she was my sounding board for the first part of my life. But the role of my mother-in- law and grandmother to my daughters has been filled profoundly by this woman who I now live with. She is 80 and every day I think" when I get to be that age...I hope I can keep up w/her schedule and keep my attitude as positive as hers has always been".
My daughters grew up knowing they could always count on this grandma of theirs to allow them to spend the night, have a party, be it the huge annual New Year's Eve party that each of them were permitted to have on their own out at Grandma Shirley's house...til the last one had her turn. We pulled together and no mishaps were ever experienced at this home. She has a full community sized swimming pool in her back yard, so there were many years of teens swimming all day and on into the night. Again, her home was an open door to anyone she knew. Trusting those teens to not overstep their privileges, Shirley became attached to more and more children and teens on into their adult lives. She was a school teacher for 37 years and there isn't a time when we are out and about that I don't hear her comment.."Why, I had him in school! or I had her mom in school"....
Since moving in with her 3 and 1/2 years ago, she now has another role she upholds; as a great-grandmother to my 2 grandsons. They have moved 18 hrs. away from our home and each summer their mother allows them to come home and stay for 6-8 weeks straight at our house. I couldn't pull this off without the help of Shirley as their great- grandma who stays home w/ them throughout the day while my husband and I both work day shifts. She has again sacrificed her own late- in- life "free" time to devote her energy and her days to making the most for these 2 boys she has called her own. I think if she were to have had 4 more of her own sons...her life would have been even more complete! She lives to "feed" anyone and to have 2 scrappling, growing boys "need" her to give them food and nourishment daily, just completed her lifestyle the entire time they are with us. Her stamina should be slowing down if you think about most lives of 80 year old women. Not this woman....she has plenty of "missions" to accomplish!
To know this grandmother of 33 years plus now ...is to genuinely LOVE her to pieces! I hope to become the grandmother to my own grandchildren now as she was all these years to my children.
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