I am in awe of my childrens' Grandmother...

I live with my mother-in-law and to be 51 and move into a home of a woman, who for almost 20 years as a widow, had her home to "herself", I am first of all ,amazed that it has worked out.Second of all, to allow another woman to move in with her and be the second woman of the house is hard enough, let alone share all of what is hers..is now ours, vice versa. She knew from the start we could work out a new lifestyle of helping one another. Her role to my husband and I is that of a "nurturer".....so we have these homecooked meals 4-5 days a week and always at the precise time. Yet she will be patient and wait for he and I to come home and have our meals together as this "new family" we have now formed.We, in turn, are taking the helm over of the "labor" around the home. Vacuuming the house, and the pool, gardening, mowing, weedwacking, painting when needed, pool care, ladder climbing, flooding clean up... heavy duty chores..now belong to my husband and myself. We have balanced our lives together now and are making it work.
She is the grandmother of my daughters and a role model for them. I look up to her for her attitude in life. She said to me when I was just dating her son, (way back when!)...."YOU do what YOU want to do"...
I have never forgotten those words. To me...she was letting my own personality come forth and grow. She would be there for me to lean on when I needed help w/her granddaughters. But mostly, she was a genuine soul. She would never "dictate" to me what she wanted done. No, I was to find out that on my own...through my own mistakes. She was a good listener. She showed me to laugh at life and not to take it all so serious.
She opened her life up to me and let me be a member in her large family. She and I have the likeness of having raised 4 daughters so I do put that into perspective. I tried to remember how she was when I came into her life and she was still a mom at home w/ the last 2 daughters. Openminded is what I think comes to mind first. She was always a very open person. Warm and accepting of her daughters' many friends. Their time in high school was very energetic and full of schedules that most people would shutter away from, yet this woman "thrived" to be needed and included in all the details of being the athletes that they were ... their mom( who by this time is in her late 50's to early 60's).....is now their chauffer and food provider for them and for many, many teams. She and her husband opened their home to tons of teens for meals and actually provided many a parent w/ a home cooked spaghetti dinner year after year til her youngest daughter went onto college; therefore breaking the tradition of having her home filled..she sought the college basketball team to need her at their level..at their away and home games in colleges all over the tri-state area.
We became close to one another and developed a mutual trust. I respect her opinion at all times and have tried to model my outlook to that of hers. I think she did a superb job raising her family of 4 daughters and her only son, whom became my husband. I have my own mother to look up to all of my life and she was my sounding board for the first part of my life. But the role of my mother-in- law and grandmother to my daughters has been filled profoundly by this woman who I now live with. She is 80 and every day I think" when I get to be that age...I hope I can keep up w/her schedule and keep my attitude as positive as hers has always been".
My daughters grew up knowing they could always count on this grandma of theirs to allow them to spend the night, have a party, be it the huge annual New Year's Eve party that each of them were permitted to have on their own out at Grandma Shirley's house...til the last one had her turn. We pulled together and no mishaps were ever experienced at this home. She has a full community sized swimming pool in her back yard, so there were many years of teens swimming all day and on into the night. Again, her home was an open door to anyone she knew. Trusting those teens to not overstep their privileges, Shirley became attached to more and more children and teens on into their adult lives. She was a school teacher for 37 years and there isn't a time when we are out and about that I don't hear her comment.."Why, I had him in school! or I had her mom in school"....
Since moving in with her 3 and 1/2 years ago, she now has another role she upholds; as a great-grandmother to my 2 grandsons. They have moved 18 hrs. away from our home and each summer their mother allows them to come home and stay for 6-8 weeks straight at our house. I couldn't pull this off without the help of Shirley as their great- grandma who stays home w/ them throughout the day while my husband and I both work day shifts. She has again sacrificed her own late- in- life "free" time to devote her energy and her days to making the most for these 2 boys she has called her own. I think if she were to have had 4 more of her own sons...her life would have been even more complete! She lives to "feed" anyone and to have 2 scrappling, growing boys "need" her to give them food and nourishment daily, just completed her lifestyle the entire time they are with us. Her stamina should be slowing down if you think about most lives of 80 year old women. Not this woman....she has plenty of "missions" to accomplish!
To know this grandmother of 33 years plus now ...is to genuinely LOVE her to pieces! I hope to become the grandmother to my own grandchildren now as she was all these years to my children.